Grace by Richard Paul Evans

I would - Grace Webb

If only i could shine in your life as you have in mine, I would,
If only i could love you as deeply as you have loved me, I would,
If only i could heal your heart as you have healed mine, I would,
If only i could lead you to God as you have led me, I would,
If only i could give you the hope that you have given me, I would,

If only i could stay with you forever, I would.

This is the poem written by Grace in the novel for Eric in her diary.

This was a very touching novel. I picked it up quite by accident thinking it would give me some "Godly" gyan on life (yes.. i always search for stuff like this when i am onsite.. queer isn't it?). It was very touching in the sense, it touched that corner of me that still believes in romance, unblemished love, the ideal kind of love rather.. the teenage kind of idealized love.. the kind of love that borders on worship. (My diverging mind tells me this brings us to two kinds of people - people who conquer love and people who give out completely to love.)

Brings to my mind the feelings i experienced when i watched "Kizhakku Vasal" (Karthik & Khusboo - 1990 - Tamil) and what amma said about the lovers in "Ek Duje ke liye".

This book is a quick read and covers a child abuse. I feel this will touch anybody ,who is a bit of a romantic, in a very moving way.

State of Play

State of Play I saw State of Play in the AMC @ Saratoga. Nice theatre. Standard fare in most theatres here. Didn't know that noon shows are usually priced lesser when compared to the evening shows. Nice way to attract crowds. Well, it is common sense now that i think of it. Like old times, i reached right on time to see the ads & the trailers. The ads were quite pathetic, well, trailers were good. Just watching the trailers make you want to watch the movie. Well, i have listed star wars, wolverine .. etc. Surprisingly, i had not listed State of Play in my list of must watch, when i saw the trailer of this movie. it turned out to be a good movie. Fast paced, suspense, an investigation - all that it takes for a thriller. A must watch movie, now that i think of it. Ben Affleck plays the role of a manipulative politician well. Russel Crowe & his partner play the roles of journalists well. I keep wondering how these chaps keep switching from being completely out of shape like in this movie to a well built and well muscled person like in Gladiator. What additional i liked about the movie was perhaps the fact that i had to try to put the pieces together myself and use my brain a bit, which was really nice. Politicians in india don't have to be circumspect about their nefarious activities as perhaps censure by people is very less. Here in America, politicians have to be careful esp about the media. I am always surprised by people like the politician in this movie who use people with impunity. I feel so very awkward to ask a favor of anyone and this person and so many others i know use people without any qualms. The fact that there has to be a payback is apparently just a way of life. Exchanging favors seems to be easy for so many and so difficult for me. I don't mind doing a favor, but find it so very difficult calling on one. Ben Affleck in the movie uses the services of a mentally unstable chap and gets a person murdered. Now that is one big favor. Then comes the question of correct & wrong. Was it correct to expose your friend? Is it correct to expose a family member? Are there certain rules written in stone? In a real situation, I would have gone ahead and exposed Ben Affleck as the chap used me. Would i have done that if Ben were a close family member? I wonder. The reason i don't write about the plot in the movie is because i don't think i am narrating a story in this write-up. I am trying to capture what i felt as a result of watching the movie.

Death in the Holy Orders

I picked up this 2 part TV episode (BBC) from the Martin Luther King Library @ San jose. My first exposure to P D James.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_in_Holy_Orders

Nice one. The suspense was on till the end. There was this intriguing bit about a possible papyrus which could have questioned the validity of resurrection of Christ. Well, the entire life of christ seems so much of a mystery. It is bound to be considering that it is the foundation for one of the most followed religions in the world and has been the cause of numerous wars. Interesting. There was this other thought about Mary Magdalene being his wife. Seems to be an time fraught with people trying to take an alternative view on established norms.

Gridiron Gang

This was quite a drab movie. No energy, the actors seemed to be going through their motions and the "Rock" seemed like an angel dropped from heaven. It however is based on a true story. Hats off to the true events but failed as movie.

It failed as an inspirational movie from the sports genre. A good movie in this genre is "Remember the Titans". Now that was a good movie. That drove home some good points.
1. The fact that man competes with himself rather than with anybody else
2. Life in the pursuit of a dream / ideal much bigger than oneself is worth living.

Churchill's Triumph - A novel of betrayal

I liked this book. The history buff that i am, this book covers the happenings in the 6 days at the famed Yalta Conference. It is nice to see leaders as human beings with their failings. It is quite sad to see (as i long suspected) them making decisions that change the course of history, with partisan and private ambitions and nothing remotely exalted or a sense of responsibility towards people who are to be influenced by these decisions.

Deals struck at that point for whatever reasons have changed the course of history so much. Poland remained under the communist fist till as much as the early 90s. Generations of people have been born, lived & died under regimes created through such decisions. (Well, there is also the question, is it that bad living in a communist regime as made out by the western media. Life goes on there as well. Iraq seemed stable under saddam, Yugoslavia under Tito and so on and so forth. All hell broke loose when the regimes collapsed). The sense of Freedom is so much an illusion.

Roosevelt's agenda was the United Nations with the sole ambition of leaving a footprint in history. (Reminded me of Jinnah. A Britisher in many ways who was instrumental in the creation of Pakistan - an islamic nation, a religion he did not even practise and a nation he did not live long to see on its foot). Stalin's ambition was conquest and he was naked in his ambitions with all others eager to appease. It gives credence to the idea that rules are for the common mass. It doesn't apply to the powerful. Churcill's agenda is something i would not comment on considering that it is a book rather in praise of him. It is made to seem that all decisions were made in an effort to stop the spread of the "Red" influence with a plan to willify Stalin and with an exalted aim of creating ideals that generations would follow. Well, it seems rather far fetched if that was indeed his plan or agenda.

It also reminds me that all of us face decisions and dilemma in all walks of our life where we are forced to follow illusory creations. I remember facing humiliations to be in front of a line to get into a crowded bus to head home in the territory created by the bus driver & conductor. Illusions and rules that all follow to go ahead in life. Weird. I guess end of day, man sets limitations on himself. Freedom is just a term that a man can define for himself.

Sacred Games - Vikram Chandra

This was a good read. It kept the interest alive consistently through out the book inspite of it being a 900 pager.

I guess, I was interested more because the setting was Mumbai and that too not too much in the past. It covers a time from say 80s to early 00s including the 9/11. There are multiple characters - be it people from the police, the underworld, ordinary people in Mumbai - all of it is woven well into this novel.

It is a well written script with no loose ends. It touches all characters both at the holistic level and at the minutiae with their thoughts & emotions. It tends to touch upon the contradiction that is man.

It talks about how the underworld operates and is fiction based on real life stories of Dawood Ibrahim (Suleiman Isa?), Arun Gawli (the main protagonist) and a lot of other characters. It talks about how the police operate a lot of times in cahoots with sections of the underworld. It talks about how the police, crime, politics & other major players in the country are all inter-dependent on each other to serve their ends.

Apart from the big picture, one is also touched by the emotions of people, be it the escape of Sartaj Singh's family from Pakistan during partition or the later revelation of the lost sister (Navneet?), different type of people - the honest man (Sartaj Singh's father), mildly corrupt people who believe in ideals (Sartaj Singh, Katekar) and the highly corrupt (Parulkar).

All in all... a good read

Unaccustomed Earth

I have a complicated relationship with Jhumpa Lahiri- which began with a TV review of the Namesake ( the movie). Since experience had taught me that the books are usually better than the movies, I bought the book and read it- but surprisingly found Mira Nair’s version the better narrative. However, Lahiri’s prose and character etching interested me and I gave her another shot with The Interpreter of Maladies. With a second sojourn, I thought I could safecly conclude that JL was over hyped and repetitive ( Bengali food, immigrants who all live in Cambridge, who are all PhDs – duh!!). Inspite of all the accolades the critics and close friends showered on her, I was really not looking forward to anymore of her books.
What first set me going the third time was when the HT Brunch decided to publish “Hell and Heaven” as a teaser to Unaccustomed Earth. Smart move I should say- to choose a really bold story as a prelude to the book - wonder if the earth is really unaccustomed to the events described in the story ( extramarital affair narrated by the daughter- wow!). - but I digress. I was pleasantly surprised at way JL handled the entire plot, the neat, well-developed characters, the attention to detail. That was over a month ago. The story caught my attention- but not enough to persuade me to buy the hardcover. Hence, I finally read the entire collection 2 weeks ago when a friend was kind enough to lend me his copy.

Put together, I felt the stories have an overlying theme of sadness, despair and loss of control. Even days after having finished reading the book, the characters and the stories continue to haunt me. [In hindsight, maybe I should have heeded Ravi’s advice to read them slowly] JL’s ability to gives life to the emotions and the subtle workings of the minds and hearts of her characters- is definitely much better than her earlier attempts with IOM and The Namesake. I also found the stories more ambitious in their attempt to capture complex relationships- but overall, one cannot deny that there is a very dark theme to the book- in each there is separation or loss of a loved one- none of the stories feature getting back to normal or happier lives. For some reason, I found that extremely disturbing- a fact that stops me from overtly praising the effort.

To be frank, I am unable to decide upon which stories I liked the best/disliked the most. I liked the title story where Ruma grappled with her emotions of dealing with her widowed father and his clandestine affair. It seemed to be the closest to reality and then there was Only goodness where JL has touched upon the evils of alcoholism and how helpless and uncontrollable it can make you. I thought that although really well- written, the ink was wasted on Hema &Kaushik when the end was brought about via a strange coincidence than the culmination of events described by the writer.

Overall, I think it is a riveting read- but keep it for the rainy days when your mind is too tired to do anything else and you have enough time to kill. Avoid reading it on the go or while working on a serious project at work- for all you know this will capture the lion’s shares of your mind and implant it with dark, foreboding thoughts.